June 8th

Slept like a baby strapped to a lavender scented log last night and I didn’t even wake when Beth’s alarm went off. She, being the wonderfully caring girlfriend she is, tip-toed about and put her pillow in her place and my arm around it so I’d think it was her and carry on sleeping. She’s good to me you know.
I felt refreshed today but several things happened that were to take the shiny glow off of my mood that morning. I broke a glass, one of the wonderful Riedel beer glasses Beth bought me, whilst washing up and then, when I checked my e-mails, I learned an agency I was hoping to get on the books of had turned me down as I’d had no design agency experience. I also received an e-mail from the jewellery designer who contacted me yesterday apologising for having sent the job confirmation to the wrong guy. Not the best start to the day. I’m having such a hard time coming to terms with this way of working, I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I know a couple of other freelance designers and they all seem to have plenty of work on. I just wish I knew where and when it was that things went astray for me, it’s so bloody frustrating. The more I do this the more I realize I’m just not cut out for it. It was a big mistake on my part really and I should’ve listened to those who warned me against taking this particular route. I just don’t know enough you see, I have no real coding skills and it’s letting me down.
Anyhow, it was a lovely day today and Beth was off out to see her mate Berni so I thought I’d go for a pleasant evening drink with someone. Unfortunately no-one was about so, as I’ve not yet got to the stage where I’ll happily go sit at the bar by myself, I had to settle for a vodka & tonic on the balcony and the company of a book and the radio.
It’s pretty depressing when the sun is out and the evening is so glorious to find yourself sitting and drinking alone so I only had the one and settled in for the night.

Tea drunk: 7
Tantrums thrown over work: 1
Holes discovered in the new balcony covering: 12